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chemcam
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Well... it really isn't good practice to use kitchen appliances for experiments, you can't blame them for that. They are just afraid of what they
don't understand, go look through the kitchen for what your parents eat and write down the chemicals in them and explain it, nicely, don't force feed
it. Explain to them that every single object is made from chemicals and they interact with them all day. Demonstrate your knowledge of safety. Being
14 you can't expect your parents to trust you.
And by the way how did you fill your house with "sulfuric acid" fumes? do you mean like SO2 or something?
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Cou
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It was just a small concentration of fumes from evaporating sulfuric acid, probably SO2 or SO3, I learned to make sure all sulfuric acid is removed
before trying to boil something. Opened all the windows quickly before my mom got home and saw the fog
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Cou
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It's funny though how my mom says she smells fumes, puts her shirt over her nose and complains of a headache even when I'm not doing anything that
makes gas and I don't smell anything, lol... Proves that it is all in her head but she still won't believe me.
I have an experiment of my own... Ask if I'm allowed to boil sulfuric acid, when my mom says no, I go boil a liquid without saying it is acid... but
I'm not actually boiling acid, it's just water! See if she complains of fumes and covers her nose, if she does, reveal it is water just by pouring it
on my skin and drinking it, let her freak out a bit and say that it was just water. That should teach her a good lesson with a good old scare
[Edited on 6-6-2013 by Cou]
[Edited on 6-6-2013 by Cou]
[Edited on 6-6-2013 by Cou]
[Edited on 6-6-2013 by Cou]
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binaryclock
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Cou, you need to listen to your parents. It is their house not yours.
[ removed pointless rant ]
What I'd do if I were you is talk to her, tell her you know that your experiments scare her. If I were you, I'd Tell her you're going to do them
outside now because you respect her health and household. A little respect and understanding goes so far dude.
[Edited on 6-6-2013 by binaryclock]
Current Project: Playing with my new Laboy advanced distillery kit!
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Variscite
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Im also a teenage chemist, I just turned 15 a few days ago. Im currently geting a lab set up in my backyard in an old stone shed. My mom doesnt care
about me doing chemistry and knows since im a smart kid that I will always gauge the danger level of the experiment and take the necessary safety
precautions for my family, the enviroment and myself. My dad is supportive of my chemistry hobby and gave me the shed in the backyard, he also helps
fund me by giving me jobs to work for him. Im guessing he also thinks the same way about the precautions as my mom. My dad is educated about chemicals
(as he used to work in labs). I love the my parents are supportive of my hobby .
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chemcam
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I even have my own place and my mom stills worries about what I do. In her eyes I am a mad scientist cloning babies and breeding mutant animals. My
dad on the otherhand is very interested and even comes over for demos and such.
Good mothers are hard wired to care for their children and worry. You can't blame them, biology made them the way they are to preserve our species.
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adamsium
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I was reading through this thread and was going to make very similar comments to binaryclock's (I read your post before you edited out the middle part
- not sure why you deleted it… it was perfectly reasonable).
A few points to consider:
If you live in your parents' house, you need to do what you're told; it's really quite simple. Talking about extremely childish
things like wanting to smash doors to get revenge because you sometimes don't get your own way is ridiculous. Throwing tantrums is never becoming.
Your parents clearly aren't entirely against you doing chemistry. If they were, you wouldn't be doing any. A 14 year old simply does not have the
means to procure their own chemicals and equipment entirely independently of their parents, even if the only parental support is financial. Say what
you will, but your parents are obviously allowing to do some chemistry.
Reading wikipedia articles does not make you an expert on chemistry or the safe practice of chemistry. Those who arrogantly think they know everything
about safety are likely to be the same ones that end up poisoning themselves or blowing themselves up. If you were really careful and knowledgeable
about safety, you wouldn't carry out an experiment and then post on the internet asking if you might now have brain damage from lead poisoning. Safety
issues must be addressed before doing anything. This is how real labs work.
Everybody has some problems with their parents from time to time, but ranting about your personal and family issues on an amateur chemistry forum is
not going to help you, your family or anyone else. I certainly don't see how this thread belongs under 'Chemistry In General'.
Good luck with your parents and I hope you can find a healthier way of dealing with family issues than public internet rants.
[Edited on 6-6-2013 by adamsium]
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InertGas
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Quote: Originally posted by Cou | ...TL;DR: My interest in chemistry has resulted in a bad relationship and broken bonds with my mom... |
With respect, everything you say in this thread suggests to me that the relationship with your mom was poor even before you became interested in
chemistry.
I'm pretty sure you'll think it harsh but, as someone who was a teenager (long, long ago) and who is now a parent, I think you simply have to accept
your mom's rules. What you say and how you say it leads me to very much doubt if you're going to be able to change her opinions. What you say about
how she treats you suggests that she has little respect for you, so why should she listen to your explanations? Further, the opinions you express
about her her suggest that the lack of respect is mutual, so I wonder if your efforts to explain and deal with her fears are always calm, reasoned and
totally rational?
But for all that there appears to be a big gulf between you and your mom, it does seem from what you say that she is concerned for your well-being.
How she expresses that concern for you may be poorly-expressed and based on ignorance about what you're doing, but surely she would just tell you to
take your "dangerous" experiments outside the house if she didn't care about you?
It seems to me that the bottom line is that, if someone forbids something in the house that they pay for, then that wish should be respected, no
matter how absurd it might seem. I imagine you wouldn't go visit a friend and start performing experiments in their parent's kitchen without
permission, so why should you treat your parents' wishes with any less respect?
Ignorance is often very hard to cure, particularly when irrational fears are involved and especially when the person wanting to do the curing is the
child of the ignorant person. It seems to me that you have a choice of either continuing your policy of sneaking around behind your mom's back
whenever you can and dealing with the noisy, sometimes violent confrontations when you inevitably get caught, or you can try to reach some sort of
negotiated agreement on where you can do your experiments in a place and a way such that your mom can feel that neither her safety or yours is in
danger. I assume that, if you were able to convince a teacher that you should be allowed to do independent chemistry work at school, your mom would
not believe that you were in serious danger.
Finally, I'd just like to say that I don't quite see the relevance of you mentioning in the first post that your mom is 56 and doesn't have a degree.
My experience is that neither wisdom or foolishness is a function of age. My experience also is that people with university degrees can say and do
some pretty damn stupid, irrational stuff.
[Edited on 6-6-2013 by InertGas]
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DrSchnufflez
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I would have to agree with inertgas as his words are quite true. You have to respect your parents before they will respect you. Another thing to think
about as she probably didn't have a fantastic education in chemistry and most of that will have been forgotten. Chemistry is fairly difficult to pick
up so what are irrational fears to you would be quite rational to her.
Try to understand her point and talk to her about reactions before you do them
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Finnnicus
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What I did (am now doing), is to write up all the stuff I do, then (this next step is actually a lot more complex than this) have it improved,
approved and critiqued by my school's most senior (what a joke, we have 2 teachers that know anything about chemistry) chemistry teacher, which is
then shown to mother; all is good.
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papaya
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Didn't expect the half of this forum members are pupils under 18, and perhaps the other part of forum doesn't show up frequently.. A nice kind of
detector thread, thanks Cou
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plante1999
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This forum is composed of young member, or quite "settled" up member, with a family and house etc.
As for cou and is mother stuff, you should listen to her, even if it seams weird. At the start my father very often said argg it smell "x" inside the
garage, but now he is sure I'm safe in what I do, after about 5 years of experiments. My father doesn't mind using his paypal to buy me stuff (or to
sell my stuff) I need, even if doesn't know what it is, he simply say:"are you sure that's what you want?" My mother knew I was safe in my things, but
it bothered her much more than my father, but she accepted it. I still get jokes from her, when I asked her to go out of the car to buy some glycerin
at the pharmacy, she said something about me going to make explosive and that she was not stupid, I said no, and that if I wanted to blow something
up, it would have been done long ago.
I never asked for this.
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binaryclock
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Quote: Originally posted by papaya | Didn't expect the half of this forum members are pupils under 18, and perhaps the other part of forum doesn't show up frequently.. A nice kind of
detector thread, thanks Cou |
If you go look at the forum member pictures you will see alot of people are under 18, and quite a healthy number in their 30-50s and 60s+.
I'm so happy to see people under 18 enjoying chemistry these days! When I was 13-14, I had a chemistry set and loved it. I remember playing with it
in my parent's basement, but I was too scared to try most of the experiements as I didn't have any supervision, and the Internet was just a few blocks
of text. BBSes were a good source, like the anarchist's cookbook, however they were mostly concerned with explosives and things that a 14 year old
had no business making.
The anarchist's cookbook showed me how to make black powder back in the day. You could pick KNO3, sulfur, and charcoal up at every corner store..
those were the days
As long as you aren't rocking a mullet like this kid, I'm okay with teenage chemists
BTW - Looks like he's about to combine copper and red phosphorous :/
[Edited on 6-6-2013 by binaryclock]
Current Project: Playing with my new Laboy advanced distillery kit!
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papaya
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Yeah you are right I also like to see smarts kids interested in science, btw. where are you Cou, we didn't want to discourage you, don't give up
chemistry/science in general, as I assure you after you got into it a bit everything else will seem boring compared to it, then what will you do?
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binaryclock
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I love Cou's excitement.. More teenagers need that these days instead of just burying themselves in video games. But I think we would be rather
irresponsible not to call him out on what he's saying in this forum. The bigger danger is that other kids may feel that this is acceptable behavior
as well.
Always respect your parents, #1 rule not only as a kid, but as a human being in general. The chemistry is secondary.
When thinking back to when I'm 14, and now that I'm 35.. This brings a tear to my eye because I wish I treated my parents better as well:
http://joyreactor.com/post/554388
I've never seen something more true.
[Edited on 6-6-2013 by binaryclock]
[Edited on 6-6-2013 by binaryclock]
Current Project: Playing with my new Laboy advanced distillery kit!
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Eddygp
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I couldn't help laughing at that.
Mine is a bit like: "hey, careful, are you sure that what you are doing is not dangerous? It smells of vinegar..."
Well, synthesizing an acetate usually smells of vinegar anyway.
there may be bugs in gfind
[ˌɛdidʒiˈpiː] IPA pronunciation for my Username
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Eddygp
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I couldn't help laughing at that.
Mine is a bit like: "hey, careful, are you sure that what you are doing is not dangerous? It smells of vinegar..."
Well, synthesizing an acetate usually smells of vinegar anyway.
EDIT: Nearly forgot. Both my parents are neumologists ("lung doctors"), so they make comments like:
"If you knew the amount of people I've seen dying after having inhaled asbestos (or chlorine, or HCl, or..., or...). So yeah.
[Edited on 6-6-2013 by Eddygp]
there may be bugs in gfind
[ˌɛdidʒiˈpiː] IPA pronunciation for my Username
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Cou
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The problem here is that when I actually do have a dangerous accident, I don't tell my parents because they would ban me from chemistry forever. Like
a year ago, before I learned to always use chlorine outside, the cork came off a flask filled with chlorine gas, I immediately was reminded of the
town swimming pool (:p) my eyes burned and I ran out of that room... for the next hour until the chlorine went out the windows, my mom couldn't figure
out why I kept holding my breath, running in the room to open the windows, running back out and gasping for air.
I know you will say "YOU COULD HAVE KILLED YOURSELF YOU FOOL" but it really wasn't enough to cause pulmonary edema or anything, I didn't even cough.
Also, the chlorine came from hydrochloric acid and bleach
[Edited on 6-6-2013 by Cou]
[Edited on 6-6-2013 by Cou]
[Edited on 6-6-2013 by Cou]
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Variscite
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Talk about throwing caution to the wind, you could have easilly maimed or killed yourself there. Do you reasearch the dangers of your experiments well
before you do them? It would be a shame to see you kill yourself because you were being irresponsible with very toxic substances.
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Cou
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But, I've smelled stronger chloramines in the air of the town swimming pool than from that accident
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aliced25
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My parents were not overly chemophobic until after the first raid by QLD Police, looking under my bed (we lived on a 100 acre property with several
sheds) for a drug lab. Even then they were supportive, despite repeated raids, the funniest one was where the dog (a purebred pitbull) was jumping
into the laps of police (despite being an illegal breed), where they checked both houses, found various chemicals in my house (nothing illegal) and a
bunch of glass (which was confiscated, but not illegal), but ignored the multiple containers of cordite, primers and shell-casings in the other sheds,
and didn't even leave the 5 acre house yard (ie. they didn't check the other 95 acres). Even then my parents never became particularly chemophobic,
just pissed at QLD Police.
In the future I intend to teach my kids chemistry and other sciences, simply because they are no longer taught to inquire at School. Hopefully they
won't be driven down the path I was by the local Gestapo, but I don't intend to teach them anything illegal or anything even close. I will actually
follow the lead of J.Chem.Ed. and the Chemical Educator, get some textbooks, the Golden Book of Chemistry Experiments and go from there. Kids
shouldn't be taught that chemistry is wrong. I remember doing some dumb-ass shit, simply through lack of supervision (pouring petrol on styrene -
pouring petrol on fires - that doesn't work well BTW).
I would want them to end up like Garage Chemist or maybe Bromic, doing actual experiments in the backyard. If the police want to come and check, let
them. At that stage I'll be damn sure I have nothing to hide, or even questionable. I don't do illegal shit anymore, well apart from one synthesis
which is possibly questionable, but being done for the right reasons (when the time and budget allow).
[Edited on 6-6-2013 by aliced25]
From a Knight of the Realm: "Animated movies are not just for kids, they're also for adults who do a lot of drugs." Sir Paul McCartney
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Cou
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Quote: Originally posted by aliced25 | My parents were not overly chemophobic until after the first raid by QLD Police, looking under my bed (we lived on a 100 acre property with several
sheds) for a drug lab. Even then they were supportive, despite repeated raids, the funniest one was where the dog (a purebred pitbull) was jumping
into the laps of police (despite being an illegal breed), where they checked both houses, found various chemicals in my house (nothing illegal) and a
bunch of glass (which was confiscated, but not illegal), but ignored the multiple containers of cordite, primers and shell-casings in the other sheds,
and didn't even leave the 5 acre house yard (ie. they didn't check the other 95 acres). Even then my parents never became particularly chemophobic,
just pissed at QLD Police.
In the future I intend to teach my kids chemistry and other sciences, simply because they are no longer taught to inquire at School. Hopefully they
won't be driven down the path I was by the local Gestapo, but I don't intend to teach them anything illegal or anything even close. I will actually
follow the lead of J.Chem.Ed. and the Chemical Educator, get some textbooks, the Golden Book of Chemistry Experiments and go from there. Kids
shouldn't be taught that chemistry is wrong. I remember doing some dumb-ass shit, simply through lack of supervision (pouring petrol on styrene -
pouring petrol on fires - that doesn't work well BTW).
I would want them to end up like Garage Chemist or maybe Bromic, doing actual experiments in the backyard. If the police want to come and check, let
them. At that stage I'll be damn sure I have nothing to hide, or even questionable. I don't do illegal shit anymore, well apart from one synthesis
which is possibly questionable, but being done for the right reasons (when the time and budget allow).
[Edited on 6-6-2013 by aliced25] |
How did the police decide to raid your house? Did you buy a bunch of drain cleaner from a store and they reported you? Did your neighbor see your
stuff and call them? Or they looked at your posts on this forum? I'm really paranoid about posting on this forum, I bet some FBI agent is browsing
through these threads at this moment and talking to their coworkers
[Edited on 6-6-2013 by Cou]
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binaryclock
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Did you ever get your glassware back? They just took stuff without even finding anything illegal? wtf?
Current Project: Playing with my new Laboy advanced distillery kit!
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chemcam
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I have a hard time believing all that, what cop would only search 5% of the property after they found something of interest? I don't know what QLD is
but I'm glad I don't live there if this is all true.
Cou, I wouldn't worry about posting online unless you plan on doing something bad. Just follow the law in your area of residence. By saying what you
said though is just begging for attention by law people. Being paranoid is what they look for.
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DrSchnufflez
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Chemcam, QLD is a state in aus and ha some of the dodgyiest coppers and toughest laws on chemistry related glassware and reagents.
Aliced25 sorry to hear about your raid, how much glass did you lose?
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