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The_Davster
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Then and now
Stole this from another forum, who stole it from elsewhere:
| Quote: |
Scenario: Jack pulls into school parking lot with rifle in
gun rack.
1956 - Vice Principal comes over, takes a look at Jack's
rifle, goes to his car and gets his to show Jack.
2006 - School goes into lockdown, FBI called, Jack hauled
off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again.
Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.
++++++++++++++++++++++
Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after
school.
1956 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake
hands and end up best friends. Nobody goes to jail, nobody
arrested, nobody expelled.
2006 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and
Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though
Johnny started it.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts
other
students.
1956 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by
Principal. Sits still in class.
2006 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a
zombie. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey
has a disability.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his father's car and his
Dad gives him a whipping.
1956 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal,
goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2006 - Billy's Dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy
removed to foster care and joins a gang. Billy's sister is
told by state psychologist that she remembers being abused
herself and their Dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has
affair with psychologist.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some
headache
medicine to school.
1956 - Mark shares headache medicine with Principal out on
the smoking dock.
2006 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug
violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
Scenario: Mary turns up pregnant.
1956 - 5 High School Boys leave town. Mary does her senior
year at a special school for expectant mothers.
2006 - Middle School Counselor calls Planned Parenthood,
who notifies the ACLU. Mary is driven to the next state
over and gets an abortion without her parent's consent or
knowledge. Mary given condoms and told to be more careful
next time.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.
1956: Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to
college.
2006: Pedro's cause is taken
up by state democratic party.
Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that
teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist.
ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system
and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core
curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing
lawns for a living because he can't speak English.
+++++++++++++++++++++
Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the
4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle,
blows up a red ant bed.
1956 - Ants die.
2006 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged
with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings
removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes
on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.
+++++++++++++++++++++
Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and
scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary.
Mary, hugs him to comfort him.
1956 - In a short time Johnny feels better and goes on
playing.
2006 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses
her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. |
*sigh* Things are fucked these days.
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Sergei_Eisenstein
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Things have always been fucked, it's just the fuck positions that change over the years.
But I liked Johnny doing the ants 
damnant quod non intelligunt
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Darkblade48
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Some of these are just priceless! It's true how the world overreacts to some things these days (my dad used to give me a good whipping when I
misbehaved  )
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The_Davster
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I got spanked by my parents and was hugged by a teacher when younger.
Deary me....I must need counselling.
LOL...actually I wanna smack a few(million) people upside the head for buying into such junk.
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Waffles
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| Quote: | Originally posted by The_Davster
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
Scenario: Mary turns up pregnant.
1956 - 5 High School Boys leave town. Mary does her senior
year at a special school for expectant mothers.
2006 - Middle School Counselor calls Planned Parenthood,
who notifies the ACLU. Mary is driven to the next state
over and gets an abortion without her parent's consent or
knowledge. Mary given condoms and told to be more careful
next time.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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First of all, I like the phrasing "turns up." This is one I'm totally good with. Getting stuck with a crying little parasite to take care of when
you're not in a stable living and work situation fucking SUCKS, let alone not even being out of school. But all the rest seriously bum me out.
\"…\'tis man\'s perdition to be safe, when for the truth he ought to die.\"
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MadHatter
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Old Cartoons
| Quote: | Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after
school.
1956 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake
hands and end up best friends. Nobody goes to jail, nobody
arrested, nobody expelled.
2006 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and
Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though
Johnny started it. |
2006 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and
Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though
Johnny started it. State social worker and school
psychologist determine that Johnny's aggressive behavior
was caused by watching reruns of Bugs Bunny.
Couldn't help but throw that in because I've heard mental health workers make this claim
many times before !
From opening of NCIS New Orleans - It goes a BOOM ! BOOM ! BOOM ! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !
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quicksilver
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| Quote: | Originally posted by The_Davster
I got spanked by my parents and was hugged by a teacher when younger.
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Yep.....That's me too. A still remember my gym teacher swatting me for messing around. One day I met him in a hospital when I was there with a broken
wrist or some crap. His wife was very sick and he was extremely depressed. We talked for some time and he hugged me and told me I was a good guy. I
was only a teenager but it made me feel good that we could communicate. I respected him before that but I really thought about all he taught me via
object lessons after that. I still remember his name and respected him even more that he could let himself be vulnerable and human to a student.
Christ, he would have been brought up on charges today - for beating me and making advances or some shit.
Politically Correct crap has made it so people can't act like human beings anymore. Frankly it's just plain sad. These people with their "caring"
manifesto are ruining this world.
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Sergei_Eisenstein
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This is why I like "developing countries": people have nothing but still are happy, you can do whatever you want as long as you occasionally wave the
flag and condemn the Filthy US Americans and their UK Bitchboys, and sharing the sheets with Women is a carnal delight in its most pure form. At least
you don't have the impression your stabbing in a plastic doll.
This taken aside, I have been spanked in my youth too, and I guess it was necessary as well. As long as you are child or a teener, you have to be
shown what is good and what is bad. It is a very bad idea to allow children to make these decissions for themselves. A child will not keep its hands
away from a hot stove unless it has experienced the pain before.
damnant quod non intelligunt
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The_Davster
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Oh but people here are happy as well...assuming they have their american idol and soap operas on the idiot box.
Even the rural areas are better than the cities here. But they have problems too with other stuff. I look forward to moving out of the city, nice
plot of land, close enough to city to work there, and an internet connection. No TV. And work towards self-sufficiency.
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Sergei_Eisenstein
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TV is tremendously toxic for the mind. It can turn any perfectly healthy person into a zombie. If the DEA really cared about humans, they should
confiscate TVs instead of marihuana plants. It's good you wave the box goodbye. You really can miss it!
Also, when it comes down to socializing with people, I found that the average peasant is more agreable than common city trash. At least they
understand that potatoes are grown in the fields and not in the supermarket.
damnant quod non intelligunt
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nightflight
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Wow, never thought, that there´re so many sharing my opinion on this.
Plus, I feel like I must go to american-english-speaking forums, while being dismissed immediately on german forums, especially by young guys and
"intellectuals" on this matter.
Although much black-white painting in this statements (from the the mad-magazine
?) especially the make-use of pharamcolgical means part, it remains true!
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The_Davster
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On a related note:
From: http://www.dvo.com/newsletter/weekly/2007/05-18-182/random_m...
| Quote: |
Born before 1980?
TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's...
# First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.
# They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.
# Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.
# We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took
hitchhiking.
# As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm
day was always a special treat.
# We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from
this.
# We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank kool-aid made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because .
WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!
# We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
# No one was able to reach us all day, and we were O.K.
# We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the
bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
# We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound,
CD's or Ipods! No cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or chat rooms.......
WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
# We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
# We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
# We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays,
# Made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.
# We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!
# Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!
# The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!
# The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
# We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!
If YOU are one of them, CONGRATULATIONS!
You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up, before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives so much, than for
our own good.
And while you are at it, share it to your kids so they will know how brave (and lucky) their parents were.
Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?! |
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Nerro
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I was never smacked when I was young, my parents just acted hurt when I fucked up and I felt bad untill they said it was ok after a while. My dad told
me it was my own fault the neighbour took my football (soccer that is  ) and when
they thought it was time for me to learn to ride a bike they just took the extra wheels off the side so I had no choice. When they wanted me to get
used to water they just gave me a lifejacket and threw me into a pool! When I came home dripping wet because I fell into a pond they just laughed. I
used to go to a friends house where I was expected to take off my pants just liek my friend because they were always covered in mud. My teacher patted
me on the shoulder when I smacked someone in the head for calling my (mentally handicapped) sister some shit! When I was good I was allowed to sit on
the teachers lap while she read stories to class after recess.
And yet, I feel great, nobody ever got sued, and I have morals that I am comfortable with! And get this I'm 20! Things aren't so bad, people just
shouldn't get so excited all the time!
I wouldn't be surprised if Micheal Jackson actually had kids sleep in his bed, he was probably making up for a lost childhood. I'd be very surprised
if he intended anything sexual. People are just always tripping over nothing.
[Edited on 3-6-2007 by Nerro]
#261501 +(11351)- [X]
the \"bishop\" came to our church today
he was a fucken impostor
never once moved diagonally
courtesy of bash
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woelen
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Were things really better in those old days? I have no illusions at all in that direction.
1956 - poverty, hard working for almost nothing
1956 - stupid cold war, Budapest violently taken over by USSR-troops
1956 - social climate, still up at 23.30? Then you must be doing immoral things.
etc.
etc.
And last but not least: 1956 - No Internet, no sciencemadness !!!!
Of course, some things indeed were better, and I think there was more social coherence and less overreacting those times, but please do not idealize
that period of time. Every period has its good things and its bad things.
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The_Davster
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| Quote: | Originally posted by woelen
1956 - No Internet, no sciencemadness !!!!
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Got me there
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bio2
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My first grade teacher in Florida was Mrs. Smith.
Every morning she had the children line up and then she
would give each child a kiss as they entered the classroom
This went on for the entire first year and the kids loved her.
Wonder what they would do to her these days?
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DerAlte
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For The_Davster et al., I offer the following stolen piece which says what I want to say infinitely better than I ever could:-
Quote:
The Bill of NO Rights
The following was written by State Representative Mitchell Kaye from Cobb County, GA.
We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more
riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great
grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny,
guilt-ridden, delusional and other liberal, bed wetters. We hold these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people were confused by the Bill
of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights.
ARTICLE I:
You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but
no one is guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II:
You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone - not just you! You
may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.
ARTICLE III:
You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer
to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.
ARTICLE IV:
You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in
need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the
creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.
ARTICLE V:
You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in
public health care.
ARTICLE VI:
You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim or kill someone, don't be surprised if
the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.
ARTICLE VII:
You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be
surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big-screen color TV or a life of
leisure.
ARTICLE VIII:
You do not have the right to demand that our children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate
oppressive governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if you'd like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and
do not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.
ARTICLE IX:
You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want all of you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we
expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE X:
You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to pursue happiness - which by the
way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.
Note: This work of humor represents the opinions of the author,
which may differ from those of the Capitalism.com website. This
material was made available courtesy of Thomas Bearheart.
End quote.
Historical note: the US Bill of Rights follows closely the original British Bill of Rights promulgated a century earlier. Know where freedom came from
and where it went to.
I can say no more, regards,
DerAlte
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sparkgap
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Snopes says that it was L. Napper who wrote "The Bill of No Rights"and not Kaye, who only forwarded that e-mail to his friends and thus became
involved in its wide spread.
Otherwise, a nice read.
sparky (~_~)
"What's UTFSE? I keep hearing about it, but I can't be arsed to search for the answer..."
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DerAlte
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I stand corrected, Sparky! I have no idea of the source, it's a jem I picked up off some site, assumedly the one quoted
Regards,
DerAlte
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The_Davster
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| Quote: | Originally posted by DerAlte
For The_Davster et al., I offer the following stolen piece which says what I want to say infinitely better than I ever could:-
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I like it!
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Ozone
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I love the then and now, and support he Bill on No Rights.
With darker spirits, some more scary liberal democratic stuff:
Just in case we ever wondered what side they were on... (could be crap)
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/1834448/posts
Democrats: Bibles must contain Satan's side
Democratic majority leader Nancy Pelosi revealed a proposal for a bill today that would require Bibles carry an opposing view.
As Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and Reps. Steny Hoyer (D-MD) and Dennis Kucinich (D-OH) prepare to push the return of the Fairness Doctrine to
the front burner, language is being discussed which not only targets talk radio, but the Bible also.
"No book has been so dominating, sold more copies, or been more read than the Bible, however, the bible is very divisive and only presents one point
of view. In the name of all fairness, it's time for that to change" Pelosi said.
The bill, if enacted into law would require bible publishers to provide, at their expense, an equal number of pages for Satan and his disciples to
present their side of the story.
"For too long this book of hate has been allowed to spew one side unopposed, there must be a voice of reason to create an equilibrium of good and
evil" Pelosi stated to loud applause before a group of activists from Democrats for Equal Voice In Literature and Scripture, also known as DEVILS.
On the Senate side, Hillary Rodham Clinton said that while she supported legislation which would require equal access for Satan to readers of the
Bible, a conflict of interests may keep her from voting on an issue that would obviously benefit her lifetime employer.
When the senator was asked why Satanist don't write their own bible, Clinton responded, "This is about a monopoly. There is no other book that is so
widespread and with so many readers that has been the best selling book in the world for so long. If we are going to be fair about this, the only
solution is to include an opposing view in the scriptures."
While Satanist have in the past written many books, all of them have failed in comparison. "The fact is, scripture has been controlled for centuries,
whenever anyone tries to add or take away anything, bigoted religious fanatics rise up to censor any diversity” Lou Seffer, founder of DEVILS, said
in an interview.
House Democrats did not respond to a question on whether they will be able to find enough bipartisan support to pass the bill.
Yark!
O3
[Edited on 8-6-2007 by Ozone]
-Anyone who never made a mistake never tried anything new.
--Albert Einstein
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12AX7
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Great satire.
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polymer
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I agree with you
You guys that had the opportunity to grow up in the 50's were so lucky. An article on digg recently said that "kids are not being given the
opportunity to see the natural world and be curious without parental supervision". The research also said that not being given this opportunity
could lead to depression. Parents, whose only source of information is from the idiot box, become sheeple in that they believe the world is bad. In
modern life, we have tons of stupid crap such as ipods, playstations, xboxes, idiot boxes that catch 1000 channels of misinformation, cell phones,
IPhones, pdas, and all sorts of crap we do not need. If we are given more freedom to explore, we would'nt need any of this. Parents buy this
worthless junk to keep their kids inside and free from the "dangerous world".
I don't know if anything will get better over time. When I have kids, they will be homeschooled and they will be allowed to roam. I will have
internet, but no TV. I know i've ranted alot, but any rant describing the times now is quite accurate. Even if a little change as a better source
for news is enacted, the world would be so much better. The government should also create some sort of licensing program for people like us to buy
chemicals and prove that we aren't terrorists or cooks.
I encourage other members to comment on my post.
[Edited on 17-6-2007 by polymer]
E/m*c^2
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Nerro
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Is life really like that in the States? Come to the Netherlands, you'll like it here.
#261501 +(11351)- [X]
the \"bishop\" came to our church today
he was a fucken impostor
never once moved diagonally
courtesy of bash
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polymer
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Despite our rants, we should also think about what is good in America. The purpose of my "mini-essay" was to say that we americans are getting too
paranoid and we need to be better informed.
[Edited on 17-6-2007 by polymer]
E/m*c^2
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