Sciencemadness Discussion Board - Human/Ape Crossbreeds

Human/Ape Crossbreeds

lordmagnus - 19-1-2006 at 15:19

How many here would like to see if a human/ape crossbreed is possible? This would contend not of your participation, but just your support.

lacrima97 - 20-1-2006 at 18:28

It would be neat to see, but a little wierd. It seems it might be...inhumane?

Mr. Wizard - 20-1-2006 at 22:59

Do we really need any more weird zoo specimens? We need more forward evolution not giant steps back to chaos.

Rosco Bodine - 21-1-2006 at 23:56

Quote:

Originally posted by lordmagnus
How many here would like to see if a human/ape crossbreed is possible?

The mule products of such monkey business have likely been
around for some time , and the recently " elected "
president of Iran is definitely suspect , given his
publicly revealed apeshittedness . Maybe his momma was a pygmy and his daddy was a baboon and now the
pig-baboon needs a nuke ......about like a fish needs a bicycle .

daeron - 24-1-2006 at 11:15

oh damn i thought this thread was about americans, srry my bad

j/k of course

...was thinking bout certain americans

Rosco Bodine - 24-1-2006 at 15:05

Quote:

Originally posted by daeron
oh damn i thought this thread was about americans, srry my bad

j/k of course

...was thinking bout certain americans

If one looks far enough back into the branches of the
family tree of even some of the more prominent families ,
it may be suspected that there is probably a chimpanzee
in the woodpile , and the family resemblance can be telling .

Here is an example of what I mean .....

you just never know , and the implications are frightening

lordmagnus - 17-5-2006 at 20:13

New info on Human/Ape genetic lines, and our common ancestor.. Check out this article

http://www.cnn.com/2006/TECH/science/05/17/human.chimp.split...

enhzflep - 17-5-2006 at 22:37

Hasn't it been found already that there are fewer gentic differences between some humans and some apes, than there are between some humans and some other humans??
In the order of 1 or 2 percent in either case IIRC.

DrP - 18-5-2006 at 00:53

"Hasn't it been found already that there are fewer gentic differences between some humans and some apes, than there are between some humans and some other humans??
In the order of 1 or 2 percent in either case IIRC. "

Yea, but there is not alot of difference between a human and a mouse genetically either - I don't think that really means alot.

Tsjerk - 18-5-2006 at 07:04

Not to mention the difference between a human and a cucumber, that was something between 20 or 25%. So it really says nothing.

magnus454 - 12-3-2007 at 18:37

I think we should go for it, why not? They get ligers, Tygons, and Geeps, why not humanzee's?

indigofuzzy - 12-3-2007 at 20:27

Ok, but who's egg and who's sperm?

Sauron - 13-3-2007 at 01:16

This would help explain some of my high school classmates.

Levi - 14-3-2007 at 05:46

I voted to see if it was possible: provided it is done by artificial insemination and not by cloning/gene splicing. If mother nature allows it then I don't see a moral issue with it but if there are natural hurdles being circumvented there is certainly a need to examine the morality involved.
I think the point is moot, though, as I'm sure some deviant has already gotten busy with a chimp with no offspring from the act.

evil_lurker - 14-3-2007 at 06:43

There already are human/ape crossbreeds. You just have to go to Memphis Tennessee or Atlanta Georgia and you will see as many as your heart desires.

They already have a scientific name, Africanus Unemployus. Two of the most common varieties include Welfarus and Gangbangerii.

You know when your in Africanus Unemployus natural habitat when all the business have bars on the windows. It is not uncommon to see females of the Welfarus variety wandering around the concrete jungle at all hours of the day and night even in the cold of winter in search of Colt 45 malt liquor, marijuana, and crack cocaine.

The Gangbangerii variety is quite dangerous due to their highly territorial nature. They prefer to demonstrate their prowess by taking old half dead chevy caprices, impalas, and crown victorias that are ready for the crusher, apply $3000 rims and proceed to cruise around wasting fuel and attempting to intimidate other Gangbangerii. Should a Gangbangerii territorial dispute escalate, Gangbangerii will proceed with what is called a "drive by" and shoot at the other Gangbangerii while driving past them. Its generally easy to tell when a Gangbangerii is the area by the awful rattling created by their monster subwoofers not being able to move enough air in their vehicles. Should one find themselves in Gangbangerii territory, one is advised to lock the doors, look straight ahead, and do not stop or communicate with any Africanus Unemployus until one has left their territory.

Rosco Bodine - 14-3-2007 at 13:20

Many of those specimens are genetically related to the
doodabus tribe and the moanback-moanback-ho tribe .

The doodabuses are easily recognized as they will often
stop at street intersections looking in the distance each
way and be heard to ask " do-da-bus come by heah ? " ,
hence their name ...the doodabus tribe

And the moanback-hos are recognizable also by their call ,
often heard as they stand behind any variety of trucks
which they are evidently directing as they are being backed towards a loading or unloading position .....
they can be heard calling out loudly ,

moan back .....

moan back......

ho!

hence their name as the moanback-moanback-hos

HammerOfLight - 9-8-2007 at 10:39

Scientific american has an article out about crossbreeding between our ancestors, and chimpanzees.

Nerro - 9-8-2007 at 12:12

Interesting to see how many lame jokes the "Homo Sapiens Racisticus" makes when it's allowed to post freely in it's natural habitat, I sure hope a "Homo Sapiens Moderatus" (it's natural enemy) gets them soon!

Are there any other apes with 23 chromosomes? If not the whole goes right out the window.

nitroglycol - 14-8-2007 at 03:59

Keeping to the topic, there's a decent discussion of the topic here. No direct evidence of a hybrid has been found (Oliver turned out to simply be an aberrant chimp) but some think there's genetic evidence of hybridization in the distant past.

Regarding chromosome numbers- chimps have more chromosomes than we do (2n=48 rather than 46), but this in itself doesn't rule out hybrids (though it may rule out fertile ones). However, I seem to recall hearing that although the actual genes are almost identical, there are a number of chromosomal inversions that rule it out.

16MillionEyes - 14-8-2007 at 10:00

Although in our society we live under a curtain of courtesy and tolerance we all know that "Homo Sapiens Racisticus" exist in most people where difference between breeds are about. Why try to force-cover the sun with a coin? Prejudice exists and not because it was created as such, it because it gave rise to itself.

JohnWW - 14-8-2007 at 11:16

What about politicians who look and behave as if they are chimp-human hybrids? I can think of one - the lame-duck Australian Prime Minister, John Howard, who looks like being both comprehensively voted out of office and losing his own Parliamentary seat in Sydney in the general election in November. I wonder what his chromosomes are like. However, others say he looks and acts like a koala.

Cross Breeding ?

MadHatter - 14-8-2007 at 15:30

Hasn't his already happened ? It might explain the numerous Big Foot sightings
in America and the yeti in the Himalayas. Then again it would depend on how drunk
the observer was !

Anders Hoveland - 1-7-2010 at 22:12

I am against all interracial marriages, let alone human-ape.
Yet, there is a book by Peter Høeg.
Here is the book in English:
http://www.amazon.com/Woman-Ape-Novel-Peter-Hoeg/dp/03124271...

psychokinetic - 1-7-2010 at 22:51

What did the poor non-human apes do to deserve it?

Anders Hoveland - 2-7-2010 at 14:21

We eat animals without any thought to THEIR well being. I hear slaughterhouses in Nebraska, USA are worse than the hollocaust. Some animals get skinned and boiled alive. Would you rather be die a slow horrible death, or at least be eaten... or would you rather be forced into taking part in a reproductive experiment?

Is it not more immoral to pay someone else to do the dirty work of killing than it is to indulge in sexual gratification with an animal? Much of the one billion strong population of India would answer "yes".

psychokinetic - 2-7-2010 at 19:17

Make up your mind, Anders.

Sedit - 2-7-2010 at 21:09

Quote: Originally posted by MadHatter

Hasn't his already happened ? It might explain the numerous Big Foot sightings
in America and the yeti in the Himalayas. Then again it would depend on how drunk
the observer was !

lMAO.... not so sure its outcome has so much to do with the observer but if it exist im sure drunkness would have something to do with its creator....

So how much Vodka do you think it would take before that hairy female chimp in heat across the bar started to look good to you?

Mr. Wizard - 3-7-2010 at 11:47

I've read that Stalin was behind some attempted cross breeding attempts. Here is a sample of the search < stalin chimpanzee cross breed >
http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Love-Weird-Facts/21...

They imply there were no results, but they don't state it, or give any details. They were trying to create super workers and fighters. It seems you still can't build a marble palace with mud bricks. It's amazing what some leaders can come up with. I'm guessing any living remnants of the experiment were given the 'Royal Treatment', as was the Czar and his family.

It was interesting to note some previous poster had noticed a similarity to ex president Bush, but his ears don't match that well. Besides, I've never heard of a chimp that could fly a jet.

Panache - 4-7-2010 at 00:36

yes also it would be distressing to the poor chimp and his family if they see that post. i like a good joke but not at the expense of chimps or anyone for that matter. I think it is clear that Bush never attained many competencies an ordinary chimp would take for-granted, so easy go people.

Oxydro - 4-7-2010 at 08:07

Quote:

Besides, I've never heard of a chimp that could fly a jet.

Well, they have sent chimps into space, but I've never heard of one going AWOL while supposed to be flying.

Paddywhacker - 4-7-2010 at 23:03

Let's have no unflattering talk about ape crossbreeds. Both my parents were great apes, and I count myself one as well.

Sandmeyer - 5-7-2010 at 15:44

Hehe, a good one, Paddy...

Vogelzang - 5-7-2010 at 16:54

quicksilver - 10-7-2010 at 06:38

Can you believe it? When the Führer und Reichskanzler showed the way with vegetarianism and racial awareness many supposed rational people laughed at him!

Mr. Wizard - 10-7-2010 at 20:15

Quote: Originally posted by quicksilver

Can you believe it? When the Führer und Reichskanzler showed the way with vegetarianism and racial awareness many supposed rational people laughed at him!

But Dear Old Uncle Joe Stalin our 'ally' in the big conflict, and the darling of the media, liberal elite, with his hands wet with the blood of tens of millions was the one who actually tried to make his new super worker/ soldier.

Mr. Wizard - 10-7-2010 at 20:24

Quote: Originally posted by Oxydro

Quote:

Besides, I've never heard of a chimp that could fly a jet.

Well, they have sent chimps into space, but I've never heard of one going AWOL while supposed to be flying.

I heard Bush was flying high while AWOL. Like our present, uh, Obummer man,whatever or whoever he is, enjoyed a little high flying too, if his word can be believed on that. Maybe if his records or school transcripts, passport, and everything else was available we could compare who has the present altitude record, and who is the biggest poser.

quicksilver - 11-7-2010 at 07:49

As long as we don't slip to the extremes (visa ve' Hitler & Stalin) we can live turd free. The biggest problem is that politics is pretty much controlled by marketing effectiveness rather than observable realities or logic. But then there are some with little common sense to work with & that's a preamble to a problematic scenario.

"I am against all interracial marriages, let alone human-ape."

"We eat animals without any thought to THEIR well being. I hear slaughterhouses in Nebraska, USA are worse than the hollocaust. Some animals get skinned and boiled alive. Would you rather be die a slow horrible death, or at least be eaten... or would you rather be forced into taking part in a reproductive experiment?"

______ Anders Hoveland

[Edited on 11-7-2010 by quicksilver]

zed - 11-7-2010 at 14:53

On another board, I have for a long time been advocating the creation of human-gorilla hybrids. These creatures might be ideally sized to become NFL linemen. Great offensive and defensive linemen, are hard to come by. The team that is first successful at secretly breeding such inter-species creatures, could dominate in competition, for decades.

To date, there have been insurmountable barriers to creating these hybrids. Surprisingly, it is not obtaining the human component that is the problem.

There have been many human men and women (some of them quite beautiful), that are willing to engage in sexual intercourse with giant apes. Especially so, if they are offered a financial incentive.

The apes however, do not share our enthusiasm for such antics. Utilizing sign-language, they have informed scientists that they are universally opposed to such experiments, and there is no "payoff" that will change their minds.

It seems, that in addition to our extremely unappealing appearance, we are nauseatingly stinky.

peach - 14-7-2010 at 21:21

Quote: Originally posted by Levi

I think the point is moot, though, as I'm sure some deviant has already gotten busy with a chimp with no offspring from the act.

I think we have the winning point here.

If you like this idea, you'll love this article <----- warning, this site is a thousand times more addictive than smack, the article is 18+ and the images (which you have to click expand for) may even be illegal were you live

The small percentage of the genome that separates a human from a chimp contains coding for the complex language systems of our brains. Which makes me wonder when they'll try splicing those into a chimp.

In the 60's and 70's, the hippies tried teaching chimps to see if they could reach a human'esque level of intelligence. They could respond to requests like "pass me an onion", but never went much further. In one study, a guy tried raising a baby chimp with his baby son, treating them in the same ways. He stopped the experiment when his son started behaving like a chimp.

You may also like this video, which is of Alex the talking parrot. They tried teaching him English and he knew a few hundred words. More impressively, he could reply, in English, to questions which required him to observe and consider something, indicating he knew the meaning of the words. They've done similar experiments with chimps and sign language. One of them said it was sad when it's pet kitten died.

Incidentally, did any of you see that David Attenborough episode about chimps? They have a big fight, then they party by having a massive sex orgy. Chimp peni were plentiful, and they were sure going at it.

Bashing Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is what people do when they can't see their own mistakes and want someone else to point at, and who often don't know the history of the regions he's discussing, haven't heard much of what he's said and who fixate on his religious views.

Ahmadinejad blames the ceiling

[Edited on 15-7-2010 by peach]

zed - 15-7-2010 at 12:55

Being in close quarters with a sexually mature chimp is something no knowledgeable human, in their right mind would do. Chimps are unreliable, aggressive, and mean spirited. They find it amusing to bite off, or tear off peoples fingers. They will munch on your face. At about age four, a chimp's acting career is over. It's off to the monkey house.

Benobos are more congenial. As are gorillas.

[Edited on 15-7-2010 by zed]

[Edited on 15-7-2010 by zed]

Vogelzang - 15-7-2010 at 15:20

Evolution vs. Adam and Eve.....

ahmadinejad_lg-14_002.jpg - 29kB